Hair Loss and Breast Cancer

October is breast cancer awareness month. Breast cancer sufferers’ are not just dealing with a life-threatening illness, they also frequently suffer from hair loss. 

I had the pleasure of interviewing Esther, a South African born, breast cancer survivor, who has taken her ‘lemons’ and turned them into ‘lemonade’. When you speak to her, you would never guess that only a couple of months ago she was in and out of hospital fighting for her life. She is one of the bubbliest people I have met, and she has many positive and educational messages to share.

One take-home I hope you get from reading this blog is please don’t wait until your life is being threatened to appreciate what really matters, like living, family, and friends- opposed to socially constructed values such as hair. 

Esther first felt a lump, while waiting for her good friend visiting from America to wake up. Only 4 months earlier, Esther uprooted her life and moved to Grand Cayman, not knowing what was slowly forming in her breast. Some people describe breast cancer growth to be similar to an iceberg, with only a small portion showing at the top (which is what you are trying to feel when you complete the self-examination) and the majority growing below, into your muscle.  Self-inspect Ladies… and Men! Yes, you heard me, Men too. Both males and females can get breast cancer, and both are detectable. If you were looking for an excuse to feel yourself up, this is the perfect one.  Esther was no stranger to self-examination and thankfully regularly completed them. Her mother had breast cancer only 3 years earlier. Esther’s cancer was stage 3, (there are only 4 stages, so stage 3 is considered dangerous and quite far along).

The day and night before, Esther and her friend had been out enjoying the many good times Grand Cayman has to offer, drinking cocktails, dipping their toes in the translucent blue water, laughing and flirting with guys, not a care in the world. The next day however, was a series of doctors, specialists, and ultimately an instruction to fly to Miami and to not return until her test results were confirmed. You know what followed….But that is not what I want to share about Esther’s experience. What I am really interested in is her perspective on hair loss!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uIwg2lFyLY&t=25s

Hair loss…..

Chemotherapy has come a long way over the years, to the point there are now methods which significantly reduce the risk of you losing your hair, including the use of a ‘cold cap’…. A space helmet like system which causes scalp hyperthermia. I’m not even exaggerating, the intention of the cold cap is to cause scalp hypothermia….which is not pleasant but can reduce the loss of hair. Esther opted against wearing a cold cap, for her, the added pain caused due to the required freezing of her scalp was not worth keeping her hair.

After a ‘hairy’ shower, where chunks of hair came out in large patches at a time, Esther made a split decision, borrowed a friend’s electric shaving kit, and had some fun. Rather than watching her long brunette hair slowly fall out, she decided to take control of the experience. First dying her long hair, then shaving a Mohawk, before shaving it all off. While Esther owned this transition and wore her new bald crown like a queen….it wasn’t always so easy for her. The worst time being soon after her oncoplasticresection (breast reconstruction), where one breast was required to be removed. Standing in front of a mirror, staring at a poked, prodded, cut, shaved, and ill version of herself, Esther couldn’t help but wonder who could ever want her. She felt like she had no beauty or femininity left to give. 

A lot of females with no hair have similar thoughts. Society depicts beauty and femininity as a lush head of hair. I have told myself many times and often joked with friends and family that I’m lucky, at least I have boobs! I also know a number of other Alopecia sufferers who have gotten boob jobs just to feel more feminine.  It is a sad reality, but one I know well. As a child with alopecia, I was regularly mistaken for a male because I had neither. 

Photos by the talented @michalib

Solutions…..

Chemotherapy strips everything from one’s body, including the ability to fight infections. As such solutions for cancer patients, once they have started treatment, is limited to surface solutions. It is too risky to get more semi-permanent solutions such as microblading, in case of infection.

Esther’s favorite and most common solutions were using big earrings, loud lipstick, and occasionally a head scarf. For her, earrings and lipstick were a massive poster board grabbing onlookers’ initial attention and stating ‘I’m a female’, and ‘I’ve got this!’ further drawing attention away from her bald scalp. 

Being bald is also commonly associated with being ill. Which is why I always congratulate any female willing to shave their scalp. They are helping to change yet another social misconception and will hopefully help make it easier on the younger generation. I’m not fully bald, but I have been mistaken as being terminally ill many times by strangers. One time this guy, who was friends of a friend and had a fiancé, offered to take me home with him, you know, like not appropriately, because he thought I was dying. I literally stood there with my jaw hanging loose. 

I asked Esther whether there was a quote which gave her strength and helped to get her through breast cancer, and the toughest of tough days. Her response took me by surprise, but is also a really good idea. Instead of empowering words to live by, she said she developed a playlist of empowering and energizing songs. She would start her playlist first thing in the morning to amp her up, and she would listen to it all day to keep her trucking along. Sometimes the challenge with quotes is that when you are at your lowest it’s hard to remind yourself of them. Songs playing in the background are almost unavoidable. I’m eager to get my hands on Esther’s playlist, noting that they must be some pretty powerful songs to boost her during the single most physically and mentally challenging phase of her life. What I have been able to get my hands on so far is Esther’s top 4, which are;

1. Hamilton’s “My shot”; 
2. Rachel Platten’s “Fight Song”; 
3. Dear Evan Hansen’s “You Will Be Found”; 
4. The Greatest Showman’s “This is Me”.  

I think this is great advice and I would encourage all of you to have an empowering playlist that speaks to you. We are all human and as such we all have our moments where we could do with some empowerment. A playlist may just be the boost that we need. Creating an empowering playlist may also be something you do for your loved ones. If you see someone struggling, it might just help, and it’s easy enough to turn it on, turn it up, and hope it helps!

Like i said earlier, Esther has a lot of positive messages to share and she is happy to share them with you- just reach out to her at crowdingcancer@gmail.com 

What songs empower you?

Also, have you experienced a cold cap? I tried to google other opinions on the matter, but couldn’t find any real ones. Please share your experience.

 XOX

PS- Below is the full interview with Esther. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqKVFn3nIhU

What is it like losing your hair through chemo? is losing you hair the hardest part of Chemo? What is life like without hair? How do i self examine for breast cancer? how can i test myself for breast cancer? how do i feel my boob for breast cancer? What is a cold cap? what is it like wearing a cold cap? how cold is a cold cap? is it worth wearing a cold cap to keep your hair? Should i wear a cold cap?